I went to Jennifer's Vinyasa class yesterday - she is really great about breaking down the meaning of different Sanskrit words. I am a total nerd at heart, so I love learning about the word origins!
I've been thinking about mantras lately, and I came across this explanation: A mantra is nothing more than a collection of words strung together to create a positive effect. In Sanskrit, 'man' means 'mind' and 'tra' means 'freeing.' So a mantra is a phrase which is designed to free the mind. Mantras accomplish this objective in a very powerful way. The practice is immensely effective in keeping you focused, strong and happy.
In Jo's class on Saturday, the intention was "opening, and creating space." This whole week is now coming together for me...the ideas of letting go, creating space, and freeing the mind are all interconnected. If we want to create space and be open for new things to come into our lives, we have to first let go of what is already there that is blocking us. In order to let go, we have to free our minds of the limitations we have that keep us stuck in our old habits and patterns. Creating and using a mantra is a tool that can help us in this process...
now I just have to figure out what my mantra is going to be...
oops, here is my perfectionist thinking creeping in: "I want to make sure I have the right mantra, I want it to be really good, how do I create it? what should it be? maybe I can find one online from someone else. what if there is a better one? etc" Sometimes I wish I could shut my brain off!
geez, at this rate the stress of creating my mantra is probably negating the positive effect that it's supposed to have. deep breath! Maybe it's not just one mantra, maybe it evolves over time...whatever comes to me and feels right for the moment. I'm going to go with that...it takes the pressure off having to come up with the 'right' answer.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
closing my eyes in order to see clearly
Yesterday I went to the hour Vinyasa class and Whitney was teaching. I love Whitney but I don't get to her classes very often, so I was really excited! She set the intention for the class of "letting go." We spent some time doing hip opening which felt really good. I definitely hold onto tension in my hips so it's always helpful to release some of that. I seriously could have stayed in class for another hour! I'm bummed because Whitney is teaching a hip opening workshop on May 15th, but unfortunately I am going to be out of town :(
This morning at Hatha, Angie was teaching and she set the same intention of "letting go." Maybe it was just a coincidence, but it seemed like the universe was trying to tell me something. I was trying really hard to figure out what I was holding onto, but I couldn't come up with anything specific. I had a random thought pass through my head that I should go through the whole class with my eyes closed.
Huh??? That's random, where did that come from? At first I thought, "well that's silly...I'm not sure if I can actually do that...I might be falling over constantly, other people might look at me funny, people might wonder why I'm doing it, etc." Then I realized that maybe that was exactly the point - with my eyes closed, I could look within myself and block out everything else that was going on in the room. It occurred to me that what I needed to let go of is "judgment." Of my own, and of other people's. It's easy to say "oh I don't care what other people think," but the thing is...I don't even actually know what other people think. I make up stories in my head of what I imagine others must be thinking of me, and it becomes true in my mind. Even though it's not based on reality, it's just my perception and assumptions.
I let this fear of what others are "theoretically thinking" get to me and I totally freeze up. For instance in tennis...Marc and I have been taking lessons the past three weeks and I keep getting frustrated because every time the teacher is watching me and I screw up! I could hit perfectly 10 times in a row on my own, but then the teacher will come watch and I'll miss every time. Grr - so annoying! Why is that??? I know how to hit...but suddenly my energy shifts and I get tense/nervous/anxious as soon as he is watching. I feel like he's judging me and in my mind I think that he is waiting for me to miss...and then I do.
Last night I was not playing well at the beginning of class and I was getting more and more frustrated. At that point I knew I had two choices: I could get upset with myself, be annoyed through the rest of class, not learn anything, decide that I'm crap at tennis and give up completely ...or... I could choose to laugh, have fun, and be grateful that I have legs to run and arms to swing! I took a deep breath and quit trying to "perform" for the teacher, and I just played for myself to have fun. Within minutes, my playing improved dramatically and I actually enjoyed the rest of the class!
Today during yoga with my eyes closed, I didn't think about other people watching me. I didn't worry about whether I was holding a pose as long or as deep as the person next to me. I went completely inside myself and let my inhibitions go. I love how yoga gives me insights into other areas of my life! I always hear instructors say that what is happening on your mat is representative of what is happening in your life...if you are resisting a pose, what are you resisting in your life? if you are inflexible in a pose, where are you inflexible in your life? It took closing my eyes to see clearly what is happening in my life :)
This morning at Hatha, Angie was teaching and she set the same intention of "letting go." Maybe it was just a coincidence, but it seemed like the universe was trying to tell me something. I was trying really hard to figure out what I was holding onto, but I couldn't come up with anything specific. I had a random thought pass through my head that I should go through the whole class with my eyes closed.
Huh??? That's random, where did that come from? At first I thought, "well that's silly...I'm not sure if I can actually do that...I might be falling over constantly, other people might look at me funny, people might wonder why I'm doing it, etc." Then I realized that maybe that was exactly the point - with my eyes closed, I could look within myself and block out everything else that was going on in the room. It occurred to me that what I needed to let go of is "judgment." Of my own, and of other people's. It's easy to say "oh I don't care what other people think," but the thing is...I don't even actually know what other people think. I make up stories in my head of what I imagine others must be thinking of me, and it becomes true in my mind. Even though it's not based on reality, it's just my perception and assumptions.
I let this fear of what others are "theoretically thinking" get to me and I totally freeze up. For instance in tennis...Marc and I have been taking lessons the past three weeks and I keep getting frustrated because every time the teacher is watching me and I screw up! I could hit perfectly 10 times in a row on my own, but then the teacher will come watch and I'll miss every time. Grr - so annoying! Why is that??? I know how to hit...but suddenly my energy shifts and I get tense/nervous/anxious as soon as he is watching. I feel like he's judging me and in my mind I think that he is waiting for me to miss...and then I do.
Last night I was not playing well at the beginning of class and I was getting more and more frustrated. At that point I knew I had two choices: I could get upset with myself, be annoyed through the rest of class, not learn anything, decide that I'm crap at tennis and give up completely ...or... I could choose to laugh, have fun, and be grateful that I have legs to run and arms to swing! I took a deep breath and quit trying to "perform" for the teacher, and I just played for myself to have fun. Within minutes, my playing improved dramatically and I actually enjoyed the rest of the class!
Today during yoga with my eyes closed, I didn't think about other people watching me. I didn't worry about whether I was holding a pose as long or as deep as the person next to me. I went completely inside myself and let my inhibitions go. I love how yoga gives me insights into other areas of my life! I always hear instructors say that what is happening on your mat is representative of what is happening in your life...if you are resisting a pose, what are you resisting in your life? if you are inflexible in a pose, where are you inflexible in your life? It took closing my eyes to see clearly what is happening in my life :)
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Handstand!
I did a handstand! It was only for a second, but I'm a good 3 feet away from the wall. Now that I can do it away from the wall, I can start working on holding it longer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zfrlL1Zrfo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zfrlL1Zrfo
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Progress!
I did a handstand today!!! It was only for a split second, but man it felt good! I went to the 6 a.m. Hatha class and Angie was teaching. I don't know why but I kept getting lightheaded during class. I had plenty of water, so that wasn't the problem. In general I eat fairly healthy, but last week I had a lot of crap. The last couple days I've been back to healthy eating, so I'm guessing my body was just getting rid of all the toxins.
Anyway, I wasn't feel great during class, but I'm really glad I went and stuck it out because afterward I felt so much better! Whatever was going on worked its way out of my system and I felt back to normal again. I felt so good that I stayed after class to practice handstands.
I was practicing up against the wall again, and I got fairly consistent with being able to get up so I started experimenting with taking my feet away from the wall. I could only hold it for a few seconds without touching the wall, but it was definitely progress. Then twice I actually kicked up into the handstand without touching the wall at all!!! I'm not brave enough to try it without the wall yet...I'll keep practicing until I'm more consistent and can hold it for longer...but I'm on my way :)
Last night was my second tennis lesson and thankfully it went much better than the first. Yay, there is hope for me yet! Marc and I practiced over the weekend, so that definitely helped. Hopefully the weather will be nice this weekend so we can play some more. I still have a long way to go, but I was excited that I got a few "good hit" comments from the instructor.
The only bad thing to report is that I've been a total slacker on running this week...I haven't been for a run since Saturday. oops! I have two more weeks until the half marathon so at this point I'm pretty much running out of time to get ready. Oh well - I'll still do it and run as much as I can, but I'm doubtful that I will be able to run the whole thing without walking. Next time I will have to plan better and not give myself a yoga goal and a running goal at the same time. Lesson learned
Anyway, I wasn't feel great during class, but I'm really glad I went and stuck it out because afterward I felt so much better! Whatever was going on worked its way out of my system and I felt back to normal again. I felt so good that I stayed after class to practice handstands.
I was practicing up against the wall again, and I got fairly consistent with being able to get up so I started experimenting with taking my feet away from the wall. I could only hold it for a few seconds without touching the wall, but it was definitely progress. Then twice I actually kicked up into the handstand without touching the wall at all!!! I'm not brave enough to try it without the wall yet...I'll keep practicing until I'm more consistent and can hold it for longer...but I'm on my way :)
Last night was my second tennis lesson and thankfully it went much better than the first. Yay, there is hope for me yet! Marc and I practiced over the weekend, so that definitely helped. Hopefully the weather will be nice this weekend so we can play some more. I still have a long way to go, but I was excited that I got a few "good hit" comments from the instructor.
The only bad thing to report is that I've been a total slacker on running this week...I haven't been for a run since Saturday. oops! I have two more weeks until the half marathon so at this point I'm pretty much running out of time to get ready. Oh well - I'll still do it and run as much as I can, but I'm doubtful that I will be able to run the whole thing without walking. Next time I will have to plan better and not give myself a yoga goal and a running goal at the same time. Lesson learned
Monday, April 19, 2010
day 43
Today is day 43...just over two weeks left to go! I've been working every day on my flexibility goal and I'm seeing a little improvement. In my seated straddle forward fold I can now put my forearms all the way down on the floor, grab the bottoms of my feet, and then barely touch my forehead to the floor. My back is somewhat rounded when I do it, so now I'm going to work on flattening out my back so that I can start to bring my chest down towards the floor. I have been practicing a few minutes each day - I don't want to overstretch, so I'm just letting it happen naturally. If I don't meet the goal by the end of the 60 days that's okay - I'll get there someday.
On Saturday I spent some time practicing handstand against the wall. I got to the point where I was kicking up using momentum and had the wall there to catch me. Now that I know how it feels in my body to be up in the handstand, I will take it back a step and try to learn how to get up without using momentum.
On Saturday I spent some time practicing handstand against the wall. I got to the point where I was kicking up using momentum and had the wall there to catch me. Now that I know how it feels in my body to be up in the handstand, I will take it back a step and try to learn how to get up without using momentum.
Friday, April 16, 2010
letting go of the need to be perfect
On Wednesday night Marc and I had our first tennis lesson - it was really fun! We've been playing together for fun for a couple years, but it's hard to get a real game going because I'm not as good as him. I found reasonably priced group tennis lessons through the City of Seattle Parks dept so I thought it would be perfect for us to do together!
There were seven people in our class and I definitely was the least skilled player of the group. That was rough for me because I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist so I get frustrated when I am not good at things. However I still had a lot of fun, and it's a great learning opportunity for me. It will actually work to my benefit to be around better players because I will learn from them and improve because I am with them. AND I have a chance to love and accept myself for where I am right now without judgment :)
I'm hoping it will be sunny this weekend so we can go practice. Tonight I'm going to the Restorative Yoga class and then Marc is going to pick me up so we can go play tennis. Our class is Wednesday evenings for 6 weeks, so it will be fun to see how I improve over that time!
There were seven people in our class and I definitely was the least skilled player of the group. That was rough for me because I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist so I get frustrated when I am not good at things. However I still had a lot of fun, and it's a great learning opportunity for me. It will actually work to my benefit to be around better players because I will learn from them and improve because I am with them. AND I have a chance to love and accept myself for where I am right now without judgment :)
I'm hoping it will be sunny this weekend so we can go practice. Tonight I'm going to the Restorative Yoga class and then Marc is going to pick me up so we can go play tennis. Our class is Wednesday evenings for 6 weeks, so it will be fun to see how I improve over that time!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
handstand
Yesterday I went to the 4 p.m. vinyasa class with Jennifer and she had us working on handstands. It was interesting - I thought that since I can do a headstand that I would have an easier time learning handstand, but that was definitely not the case! It's totally different! I really liked the way she taught it - she broke it down into lots of different steps for preparation. Now I feel comfortable that I can keep working on all the steps on my own.
Today is day 37 - I'm almost two thirds of the way complete! I'm curious to see how these last few weeks go. It's easy for me to be excited and motivated when I first start working on a goal, but it's important to keep that spark alive all the way until the finish...and then even more critical is after the goal is achieved! I'm going to have a life long yoga practice so even when these 60 days are complete, I will still continue going to class daily. Yes I will miss a day here and there, but in general I want to make it part of my life to have a daily yoga practice.
Today is day 37 - I'm almost two thirds of the way complete! I'm curious to see how these last few weeks go. It's easy for me to be excited and motivated when I first start working on a goal, but it's important to keep that spark alive all the way until the finish...and then even more critical is after the goal is achieved! I'm going to have a life long yoga practice so even when these 60 days are complete, I will still continue going to class daily. Yes I will miss a day here and there, but in general I want to make it part of my life to have a daily yoga practice.
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