the big Six-Oh

Woo hoo, I made it!!!  Today is day #60!!!  I have learned and accomplished so much over the past 60 days - much more than I ever thought possible.  So what am I going to do to celebrate???  more yoga :)  Tomorrow I'm going to a workshop at Om Culture - it's a 2 hr Vinyasa class with live music.  I'm so excited! 

Yesterday in class, Whitney set the intention of 'patience.'  Whew - this is a tough one for me!  I really like instant results and accomplishing things NOW.  Why do I have to wait???  (says my inner two year old) 

This morning Angie said something along the lines of "each breath is a new moment in time...let go of what just happened, it is in the past...experience the present without anticipating the future."  I can see how I anticipate during class - when you have been going to yoga for a while and you get used to the styles of different teachers, you start to expect what is coming next rather than waiting to see what is going to happen.  When you know what is coming, it's easy to jump ahead or fast forward to what is next.  It takes more to be patient and wait expectantly. 

I've been trying to be patient with myself in learning hand stand.  It's hard to wait - I just want to be able to do it now!  I can hold it for 4 seconds and I was aiming for being able to hold for 5 seconds by today.  Today isn't over yet...so maybe I will still get there, and maybe I won't.  But even if I don't get it today, I know without a doubt that I will get it eventually.  So what's the big deal?  Why am I so focused on doing it now?  Even if it takes another day, week or month, it will be just as much an accomplishment then as it would be now.  I will be just as excited and proud of myself, so it's really no different.  So what's the rush??? 

Even though it makes sense in theory to accept where I am and be patient with myself, it still doesn't make the feelings of urgency go away.  I still am obsessed with doing it today!  sigh...  Uh oh, now I am conflicted.  Part of me wants to just try over and over again until I get it today...and part of me wants to learn the patience lesson by not even trying a hand stand today and purposely making myself wait until another day.  I'm not sure which side is going to win this battle...I guess I'll have to wait until I get home tonight to find out.