the eyes have it

I did it! I did it! I did it!!!  Yesterday after work I went to the 5:15 Hatha class with Brett.  I got there around 4:30 and I was planning on practicing in the room by myself but Brett was already there.  He started watching me which made me nervous at first because I don't know him - I have only taken one of his classes and it was at least 6 months ago.  I tend to get nervous in front of instructors I don't know because I want to do really well so they think I'm good.  It's silly I know...the reason I am there is to learn from them & gain from their knowledge, not to try to impress them...but the feelings are still there.  It's similar to how I was in school - always trying to be the best so the teacher would notice.

Anyway - after a few minutes I dropped "trying to look good" from my mind and started focus on what the instructor had to say.  It finally clicked for me - I realized where I was blocked!  I kept looking down at the ground because I felt like my arms were going to collapse and I was going to fall on my face...and that's what kept happening.  Instead, when I lifted my gaze and looked up in front of me, my body followed and I was able to successfully shoot back and keep my body off the ground!!! 

It makes sense to me because it's the same thing I have experienced in mountain biking.  When you see a rock that you are afraid of running into...if you look directly at the rock and think to yourself "don't hit the rock, whatever you do don't hit the rock" you are inevitably going to run right into it.  It's a little counter intuitive because you feel like you need to stare at it to make sure that you avoid it - but the opposite is true.  If you look past the rock and keep your eyes where you want to go, your body will follow and you will successfully navigate around the rock.

Back to yoga...I was so excited when I finally got it!!!  I did it a few more times to prove to myself that it wasn't a fluke, and then my arms were totally dead even before class started.  Luckily it was a Hatha class instead of a Vinyasa class (where you have to use your arms more).  Being tired didn't stop me though - during class I did a head stand!  Even though I know I can do it on my own, I still get a little nervous trying it during class...but I did it anyway :)  Each time it will get less scary and eventually it will be part of my routine.